O (fuck you) Canada!

Our very first guest rant, courtesy of Sankaran Krishna of the University of Hawai`i at Manoa.

Fuck Canada

Okay, I need to get something off my chest. I am sick and tired of the way “Canada” is positioned as a beacon of progressive socialistic state policies and a peaceful, enlightened citizenry. I am sick and tired of hearing white, liberal colleagues assert during every Presidential election in the United States that if “… Dole/ Bush / McCain / Romney … wins, I am moving to Canada.” I am also sick of the way Canada’s educational system, its health care system, its gun control policies, and a variety of other practices are contrasted favorably with the United States and held up to the latter as a model worth emulating. I am sick of American tourists abroad putting Canada stickers on their backpacks as a way of immunizing themselves from opprobrium. I am sick of all the evocations of Canadian politeness and niceness and what not, conveniently forgetting that in every war-making venture the United States has been in since its founding, the Canadians have been there right alongside. I am sick of all this for at least three reasons.

One, it effaces the conjoined history of both the United States and Canada as settler-colonial societies constructed on the violent usurpation of the lands of indigenous peoples and continued into the present through their ongoing dispossession and marginalisation. Do people not realize the enormous privilege inhering in the idea that you can just move to another country because you don’t agree with election results in your own? That the very idea of such a movement reenacts the originary violence that created both societies?

Two, in this entire imaginary that depicts the US and Canada as contrasts (as distinct from being overwhelmingly similar settler colonies), the unspoken locus of enunciation is white. How does the alleged contrast between the two societies look like from the perspective of someone from one of the pre-contact indigenous groups in either of these nations? What does it look like from Black or South Asian or East Asian or other immigrant (or “arrivant” as Jodi Byrd terms them) perspectives? These questions do not seem to be within the frame of analysis when Canada is presented as a liberal wet-dream in contrast to the United States.

Third, instead of contrasting them, might it not be better to see Canada as the alibi that normalises the extremity that is the United States? And the US as the egregious violence that sanitizes and renders more benign the incredible violence that is Canada? To twist Baudrillard, in different ways Canada and the US serve towards each other the same function that Disneyland does in rendering the rest of Los Angeles real.

So the next time you hear some allegedly liberal colleague, friend, whatever of yours praise Canada and offer it as a salutary contrast to the benighted United States, say something like “a pox on both (y)our houses” – and you can add any expletives that seem appropriate and tactically permissible at that moment.


35 thoughts on “O (fuck you) Canada!

      • Agreed…and lastly…who the fuck ever said we wanted to let your rejects into our country, no matter which president 35% of you elect…the rest are too stupid to vote, what a stupid system, even the actual winner can be overruled by the electoral college…why bother voting? I haven’t set foot in your fucking country since 1991. And won’t. Please return the favour.


    • The last thing Canada is, is enlightened lol unless that’s a new street term for hitting crack out of a bong. Now let’s all take a look at the shitiest laws your ever going to see, not to mention the fucking clowns that pretend to up hold them! Go kill ya selfs, I’ll watch.


    • I am a Métis man in Alberta Canada
      I happen to agree with every bloody word of this Rant. Our people were run off our land and starved into submission when Canada came calling. They brought good things to the Native Métis Nation back in the beginning. Good things like disease ridden blankets, maggot filled rotten meat and so on, killing us off one by one
      Dividing and conquering, rape and pillaging our Buffalo area before Canada was even formed.
      So that White European Immagrints from who the fuck knows where could come and settle our What did that cocksucker John A Macdonald call us oh ya Rabid Fucking Dogs and savages that should not be allowed to exist, I think I could be off, anywho.
      The Liberal Canadians and all the rest who were in cahoots with them including the good ol USA, can all Fuck off and die and that also includes the fucker who wrote this article


    • Not even. Typical simpleton Canadian trying to make look American worst than they are with all these drizzles of stereotypes. Canadians are polite because they don’t have a backbone & mostly fake. FAKE & LAME.


  1. Fantastic polemic! I had a similar reaction when a relative in Idaho described Hawaii as “the world’s sandbox” and said she wanted to move to Oahu after she retired. Fuck Candida, and fuck my aunt too.


  2. Sorry you feel that way, eh?

    – A Canadian

    ps. Whenever people say they are going to “move to Canada if X” they aren’t really going to do it. So, honestly, it isn’t worth getting upset over.


  3. As someone with Canadian family who has lived in Canada for some year I’d say a difference is this.

    Canadians reading this blog will nod sombrely and think – “yes, this blog makes a good point – we need to be (even) more reflexive and self critical”.

    What you are attacking is not so much Canada (or Canadians) as the too easy positing of Canada as a positive term of oppositional reference. Canadians themselves are not so smug or self satisfied with ther own political system or their own history.


  4. Its hilarious how butt hurt you are over history, and yet I bet you live in Canada or the United States, benefiting from the very history you attempt to vilify.

    The world will be better off when you die and can’t spread your insecure negativity anymore.


  5. As a Canadian I am offended! Actually, no, as a communist I am usually annoyed by people from the US making claims about Canada’s supposedly socialist nature (or Canadians saying the same thing about Sweden). Canada is a capitalist, settler-colonialist, and imperialist state that just happens to have developed a different system of social welfare in the historic compromise between labour and capital. Still has a history of genocide, exploitation, and oppression.

    Also I would disagree with a previous poster who claims that Canadians in general “are not smug or self-satisfied with their own political system or their own history.” While some are indeed not smug, these are the anti-capitalists. Most are more than happy to believe that they live in a “nation of peacekeepers” and––like the ignorant comments of “halochampion” above who apparently is happy to benefit from genocide and super-exploitation––would accuse anyone criticizing Canada of being negative. Anyone who has spent time as an anti-capitalist activist/organizer encounters these kinds of committed Canadians all the bloody time.


    • Give me a break you disingenuous fool! Leaving Canada over a decade ago for the very essence of this posting, one can see clearly from the outside the grave shortcomings of the political dynasty that has evolved with the same injustices imposed on the native population as was dispatched on the Australian indigenous population not-so-many years prior. The same assault is not weighing on unilaterally divorced fathers and men-in-general to support a feminist-based socialist system that is no less egregious. I truly pity the men that was forced endure the involuntary servitude imposed upon them as a norm to systematically to support ‘Canadian’ thieving society, and the social unrest in Montreal and Vancouver riots over the past decade suggest a revolution is long overdue. I trust men will bear that burden if there are any left and I stand by them. As for the infamous Canadian medical system, trust me, you get what you pay for (i.e. can you spell draconian?) and those with the money cross the border.
      Glad I left, never looked back, never coming back – and while I left a lot of childhood friends (Canadian) behind from all nationalities including, many Native Indian whose friendship I value the most, Canada is nothing but a comedy on the world stage – a failed state exploiting its natural resources like the third world country. Don’t believe me? See for yourself how Canada is perceived by watching how Hollywood portrays the same (watch the movie Deuce Bigalow and study the statistics that shows Cannibus consumption in highest among the Canadian population).
      Southpark had it right with their explicative two-word characterization.


      • Bizarre: I don’t see how what you wrote disagrees with what I wrote aside from my first sentence which was satirical, mocking the previous poster. Indeed, everything you write about how Canada is portrayed (supposedly “socialist”) and how it really is (violently capitalist/colonialist/imperialist) is exactly what I wrote, so how I am a “disingenuous fool” is beyond me. Or was this meant to be a reply to the same person I was replying to?


  6. Pingback: Laughter, the Canadian election and the niqab debate | The Disorder Of Things

  7. I’m Canadian. I agree with you. Say what you will about America, but people get angry and they try to fix things, even if it goes awry sometimes. The complacency in Canada drives me crazy sometimes. The racism here against indigenous people is insane, but ignored/hidden. Cops taze a visitor to death in an airport who was simply getting frustrated? Let’s complain, then do absolutely nothing about it so it can happen again. And again. What do you think would happen in the States? The health care system doesn’t come close to many other countries in the world, we’re way behind on environmental action, our educational system places no emphasis on individuality, and we’re becoming a world model for gentrification (along with Australia). Oh, and Tim Horton’s coffee is third-rate crap made from beans picked by kids in sweatshop conditions. Be proud Canada.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Canada is a multicultural dump and we’ve invited it. Boo hoo. Trapped in the abyss in nowhere between the rich and the druggies in BC and the hillbillies in the centre. A life of shit wages no opportunity for raising a family. Screw you Canada. And all you pigs that nested it. I give you all gut shots if I had free bullets


  9. What irritates me is how Canadians declares : “but we are doing better than the USA” . But we follow the USA in every aspect of Life e.g. privatized Healthcare, our education system is rated the worst, only a notch better than USA. Stop comparing to the USA, which is in fact a failed state. Look instead to Germany, Austria, Switzerland and the Nordic Countries for example and leadership.


    • Hardly a “failed state”. If you understood things beyond what you are fed through media that needs sensationalism to sell its services, you might think differently.
      Canada is boring and has little that is not borrowed in the way of its culture. It would have no pro sports if it were not for the US.


  10. Canada’s greatest asset is that it is situated next to the United States. American ventures in the bloody middle east have, among other things, resulted in reasonable gasoline prices in the States – this greatly benefits Canada and Mexico (certainly we benefit from lovely Canada and Mexico as neighbors, as well).
    But as one travels the world, two things become apparent: American travellers are overwhelmingly polite and respectful, if not humble. Canadians? Pompous, obsessed with American politics and a willingness to enlighten others on every single issue, and with a “notice me, respect me, impress me” attitude.


    • As a Canadian dying to get out of the zombie apocalypse known as Canada, I wholeheartedly agree. Fuck this hypersensitive, politically correct, self righteous, over regulated, over taxed, boring gynocentric shithole


  11. Again thank you USA for cutting my country down to size. I would just like to add that the Canadians and government is a hypocrite and a liar. An example of this is cannabis has always been an illegal drug. But then they said they legalized it. But then they said they would incarcerate,fine and imprison anyone driving under the influence of cannabis. Except my cousin who has a disease. He has a prescription for cannabis treatment and a license to grow 15 cannabis plants in his basement. He still has his job driving bus for city transit. it’s another good example of how Canada promises to do 1 thing and does everything ass backwards from the way they said they were gonna do it in every regard. meanwhile we had a crack head mayor of Toronto named mayor Rob Ford.the question is? Is it illegally,legal,or legal,illegally. That is the question? Moreover Canada educates people to be stupid. . I had an argument with my class mate that said you can go as far on the scale of success as you want to go. Any idiot can do the math and determine that canada delivers 1.25 million dollars for a lifetime worth of slavery and wages. While they make you finance your life on $3 million dollars worth of Debt. and losses. any imbecile can clearly see that Marilyn Manson makes more because he wasn’t born in a loser country like Canada. I would rather be in the USA biting the head off dead bats live in concert like Ozzy Osbourne for $220 million dollars worth of wealth. I am sick tired of getting ripped off by my incompetent loser for country that can’t build an economy.and the weather sucks here too. Who are our government clowns to say I walk the line when they move it every damned. Fucking liars. Equal work for equal pay does not exist here for me to recover my losses for the injustice canada committed against me. And as for government infringing on my free agency to make up my own mind. For this I rejected the ballot at the last election.


  12. Greeting fellow residents of the USA. I’am here to provide a warning about having any sexual relation with a Canadian. This is a super duper duper G rated country of super Mega stupidity, and nothing to do other than our super low paying shit jobs of slavery. Canastupid is throwing a scandal on the internet right now because the CBC radio station banned the christmas song called Baby it’s Cold Outside by Dean Martin from being played on CBC radio. it’s to sexually explicit

    But they don’t seem to care if youtube takes down and bans
    metallica’s song and video called SO WHAT

    marilyn mansons new shit

    marily masons Mobscene

    OR any other adult movie content on the internet
    A toast to my idiot country Canapuke. They officially topped genius on the scale of stupid. It would be hellishly stupid to have any social life in canada IF you are not the king and Queen Bee politicians.
    And please tell the primeminister Trudeu to let me ooooouuuuutttttt!
    they block me from reading your replies on this site. So reply to my email harrisondavid936@yahoo.com


  13. Author is a total hypocritical fuckwit. Goddamn, the stupidity of professors around the world is hope murdering. Fucking spastic assholes belching diarrhea as fact, totally ignoring the nature of history, humankind, etc. and going out of their way to find offense in the most offensive of statements, fucking sad baby snowflakes. I wish every stupid american who vowed to leave america if trump won actually would have. Canada IS a menstruating liberal’s dream. Go there, enjoy ruining someone else’s country.


  14. I’m a Canadian who, a year ago, returned to Canada after 30 years working abroad (Asia, Europe, Middle East). Nine months ago, my GP told me that I have basal and squamous cell skin carcinomas (not my first time … had this condition in the past quickly taken care of while overseas). I am still waiting to see a dermatologist, nine months later. Once the dermatologist refers me to a surgeon I have another six-month long wait. Therefore, I have quit my job so that I can travel to Asia for surgery next month. This will cost me tens of thousands of dollars. However, it may be too late. My GP suspects the pain I now have in my chest may mean the cancer has spread … in which case what would originally have been a minor walk-in procedure nine months ago may now take my life. I have a ten-year-old son whom I may not live to see grow up. Fuck you, Canada. Fuck you.


  15. This fucker can go die in hell. I am proud to stand on Canadian land! You idiot Americans are too stupid to understand. This idiot who wrote this has brain the size of a pea. HOW DID YOU EVEN FUCKING PUBLISH THIS SHIT. Hmph, I think the internet would be better if people like this could shut the fuck up and die. I don’t care what you have to say. Who ever fucking wrote this didn’t even go to history class and learn about a single thing about Canadian history or EVEN LITERALLY ANYTHING AT ALL. The FBI put spies around American land to be SAFE YOU MORONS. BOT TO APY ON EVERY SINGLE THING YOU DO. I don’t care if I have to fucking arrange a protest or whatever. JUST ENJOY YOUR FUCKING SELVES! RUIN ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL PERSONS COUNTRY!!


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